Saturday, September 20, 2014

In the Words of Young Weezy...

"If you need an example for how to live, then you shouldn't have been born." For a man who is filled with wise words and bon mots, this is perhaps the most profound. Well, excluding, "filet mignon that pussy", of course (but that goes without saying...).

The quote has a simple message, denouncing role models and, instead, promoting self-expression and independence. In a society that is obsessed with this idea of "role models," we have forced un-role model-y people into this category without their consent and with no thought to how counterproductive this really is.

Celebrities, athletes and public figures are left with no choice but to be "role models" to young children and young adults (AND TO EVEN ADULTS!) Well guess what, nit wits? Not everyone wants to be a fucking role model. And, to be frank, I don't fucking blame them. This is America, goddammit.

For years I have heard arguments against people like Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus or any of these other women (who at the end of the day are just trying to score a buck). People have bitched for years that these women are "horrible role models for girls." And while I agree that these women do not exactly follow the "feminist" agenda, they also never signed up for that shit. If you do not want your daughter watching Britney parading around in a thong and a snake around her neck... then don't let your daughter watch Britney parade around with a thong on and a snake around her neck, for crying out loud.
Solutions, I have 'em.

These people are not Harriet Tubman, Mother Theresa or Rosa Parks. These are CELEBRITIES.

Now, with this recent Ray Rice incident, the public should (but probably won't) take away some crucial  lessons:

1) Elevators have changed. A spot that used to be on the sex bucket list for many (a place for erections and love-making), has turned into a place of terror and brutality. First, the Solange-Jay-Z thing and now this!  If you can, take the stairs, escalator or avoid any functions where you will have to leave the ground floor.

2) Just because someone is a professional athlete, does not make them a "hero," or even a role model, for that matter.

Let me expand on number 2. Many people seemed to be shocked and disillusioned by the video footage that came out of Ray Rice punching and knocking his wife unconscious. It was as if they found out that Santa Claus wasn't real or that Mother Theresa was actually a serial rapist. People were shocked and outraged by the NFL for covering up this disgusting act of domestic violence, as if they have not been doing this since the beginning of time.

But why were people so shocked by the NFL's actions?

 For so long people have been brainwashed to think that these athletes are these heroic figures who performed miracles (Mariano Rivera made a blind man see!) When, in reality, they are just overpaid people with a skill. These corporations have sold images of heroes and knights in shining armor and, you my dumb biddy friends, have bought into it completely.

The recent heroizing of Derek Jeter has been a constant presence in both my news feed and media coverage. People, I know he's hot (and I have wanted to bang him since I was five) and he can catch a ball really well, but did he solve world hunger? Did he find the cure for AIDs? Did he do ANYTHING besides play fucking baseball?! Questions, I pose them.

If you answered no to all of those questions, then I ask you, what makes him so great? What makes any of these professional athletes heroes in our eyes? Why are we surprised when we see these organizations trying to cover for the people we have bought into? I mean, people still love Kobe Bryant, despite the fact that he is clearly a serious sex-offender.

If you ask me, (which you didn't, but I don't care) people get upset when their illusion is shattered for any amount of time. They feel uncomfortable when they find out that A-Rod is a raging douche bag or that Ray Rice is not the person they want their son to grow up to be. But rather, that these peole embody and suffer the human condition just like the rest of us, including anger, hate, greed and violence. Why are people so obsessed with this heroizing or demonizing of everyone and everything? Why can't people just be, like, humans? Why do we need to suck every professional athletes player's dick (metaphorically and literally)?
If you ask me, I am sick of the dick sucking. It is quite tedious and, truth be told, my jaw is awfully fatigued.

Besides, if people should be looking up to anyone, they should be looking up to ME.



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